A very dear male friend of mine recently said this to me ‘It seems you need a guy and any guy will do’. This comment sparked curiosity in me and made me explore this and to see if it was actually true. I looked at patterns I have and had around relationships and I looked at my beliefs. It also led me to look at men and women and understanding them at a deeper level.
This morning while in reflection I came up with answer:-
Yes I need a man, not in the sense of needing a man to survive or needing a man to feel worthy, or needing a man because I am incapable, or that I don’t like being by myself.
It is natural for a women to want and need a man. We need a guy so we can be our feminine selves. We need and want a guy to be the man, the leader, the one who gets things done, the decision maker, the one that takes charge, the protector and the provider. They are the Doers. It allows us women to BE women, it gives us the freedom we need to BE. A women needs the freedom to be herself, to follow her heart, to go with the flow, to give from the heart, to love, to follow her intuition and be guided by that. Yes she needs this, otherwise she will be in her masculine energy to get things done, while in masculine energy she is not free to be herself, which is what all men want and need too.
There is nothing wrong with needing and wanting to be with a guy.
Men are the protectors, the providers, the action people, get things done, results driven. They want to please their woman, they want to love and nurture and take care of their woman. It’s what they do. It’s who they are.
Women want that too. Women are the ones that feel, that be, that are the heart, that provide the loving caring energy, that need freedom to BE.
That freedom comes from having the male take care of his role which allows her to BE.
It’s a team effort, it’s a complementing combination of energy that both men and women need.
It’s the fairytale where a woman wants her prince to come and rescue her and take care of her, love and adore her for the rest of her life. Sadly society has frowned upon this and women have then become guilty for wanting this.
I used to love it when my husband came home and he would hold me in his arms and to his chest. Here I was able to feel again, I felt his love, I felt his support, I felt safe to let go of all the doing, all the overwhelm, all the tension of holding my masculine energy when he was not there. It was such a relief when he came home as it allowed me to BE again, to feel again, to be a women.
Now as for the “any guy will do” part. The answer is simply NO.
Not all men DO or can DO or will DO.
It takes some time to be around someone to know if they will in fact DO. Its a process of finding the one that can and will DO. Not all guys can lead, provide, follow through with action, protect, plan or make decisions.
People also come into our lives for a reason, if someone comes into your life and the experience isn’t completely harmonious then there is a lesson, something that person has come into your life to show you about yourself that you have hidden, or have not healed or accepted about yourself yet.
Say you attract a man who cheats for example it could be that you have insecurity and jealousy issues you need to heal and become more self confident and self loving and knowing of your own self worth. It could also be that you have perhaps cheated and are judging yourself and have not accepted and loved this part of you.
I also believe that when a man decides a woman is THE ONE, he wont go anywhere else, even if he has cheated in the past, he will stop dead in his tracks and be totally focused on his woman. He would not dream of doing anything that would hurt her, he will be so focused on pleasing her, protecting her, providing for her and being her man he will not see other women the same way again. Sure he may be a polite, friendly, man even be gentlemanly around other women but he will not be interested in pursuing them as he has his ONE & ONLY and he ain’t going to let her get away.
Robyn Lemsing
16th July 2014