Today I had a conversation with a friend. He was promoting an online business opportunity and the ad said all you had to do was post pre-written ads and get paid. Upon paying and signing up I found it was something entirely different. It was a form of network marketing, team building, etc.
When I realised what it was all about I got in touch with him to say this was not what I was looking for and not my cup of tea and asked for a refund.
After some lengthy discussion over the past couple of days we finally agreed that it was not for me and he was going to refund my money. But while speaking with him I had a realisation, he had been going on repeatedly that in order for things to change I needed to do something different and do things that are uncomfortable. I told him I knew this and am aware of my situation and aware of these things as I have been telling myself this already.
What I did realise today was that the thing I needed to do differently, was to believe in myself, to believe in my talents, skills, abilities and trust myself.
I have not been doing this. I didn’t believe in myself therefore I believed everyone else, that the way to make money was doing online marketing and networking and believing them, what ever they said – even though it made me cringe and feel sick. To me it wasn’t me and I was trying to change myself into something others wanted me to be. It hasn’t worked.
I looked back on the past 10 years since I left my first husband, how I had to learn to believe in myself as a mum and stop listening to others and taking their advice on how to parent. For a long time I did not believe I was doing a good job, wasn’t doing it right, everyone else telling me to do it this way and that. It took some years for me to finally say no to all that and do it my way, what worked for me and my children. To believe in and trust myself.
So I see this situation as the same sort of thing. I haven’t believed in myself to be able to make a difference in others lives with my services. I did not believe in my skills and talents. I did not believe I had anything to offer anyone.
Well that changed today.
During my chat with my friend today I was aware of thoughts that were coming to me, that I wasn’t going to give in to the fear of missing out message he was conveying, the fear of lack and fear of not succeeding. I watched my thoughts around all this and felt happy I was not falling for any of that today and told myself to stand strong and not give my power away. I did not feel afraid for the future, I did not feel lacking, I felt confident I would succeed and will work through my limiting believes.
It all ended in my believing in myself and thinking that I have so much to offer people .
I have faith, I have trust in GOD and I thank GOD for helping me today and am very grateful for the lesson I learnt in all this.
Yeah sure it has been a long road, 10 years, even longer that I have not believed in myself, in fact I could say all my life. Well today at age 49.5 years this has changed and I can only say that wow, how much this will change everything.
Robyn Lemsing
17th December 2017