Holding onto attachment, holding onto how it should look and of when.
Self motivation – I use male energy to get going on projects but then stop. I sabotage. I also need to move forward with female energy – blog/write/ photos from feminine.
There seems to be conflict within me. Wanting to be authentic, to be, to be in the flow, intuition, energy, healthy, abundance, free to write, create and express as I wish.
The other part of me is living in masculine, money, working hard, supporting family, provider.
I know I need to spend more time connecting with self and my intuition to receive guidance from within and act from that space, yet I avoid taking the time to do that. It is like that with everything I want to do. Eat healthy, exercise, yoga, meditate, write, journal, photography, travel and dance?
I keep creating distractions, excuses, reasons why I can’t. Too busy, aches and pains, illness, lack of funds, low energy or create another bill, financial situation that requires me to remain stuck where I am.
What is it I am truly afraid of that makes me create all this pressure in me, on me that drains my energy so I have none left for me?
Am I afraid of rejection? Am I afraid of people disagreeing with me? Am I afraid of my own strength?
Why do I believe I can’t have what I want?
Robyn Lemsing
15th May 2019