Yesterday I felt sad, I have been feeling sad for the past week, it felt like I could cry if I gave myself the time and space to do so, it seems like a letting go, grieving feeling, missing an ex but also letting go of that too. I distracted myself again as usual to avoid the pain, yesterday I read and allowed that to distract me. Today I felt sad when I woke up, again I got busy with chores and my morning gratitude, journalling and mediation practice. I miss friendship, I miss connection, I feel guilty for something I had said to someone the other day, I felt hurt by something that was said to me as well. I sat with the sadness, it still felt like letting go of old identity, letting go of financial burden, of the struggle, like the relief I didn’t have to worry anymore, the struggle is over, it’s all over, the past 20 odd years of pain and suffering, well even longer 40 years, heck why not just say the past 57 years, it’s over. Well that certainly got the tears flowing, to be able to let go of that stored up pain and suffering, that hanging on for dear life, that holding onto struggle. I let it go; I released itand feel lighter after I had released all that pain I was carrying around and noticed I was more at peace, things that would have annoyed me in the past did not anymore, the day flowed nicely.
The next day I still calm and grounded, acknowledging how lovely my life is, its peaceful, loving, absent of dram and chaos, it flows easily, I’m healthy, I have money in the bank, I am alive, it’s a quite area of town, I have time freedom, I have income, Its nice and peaceful. I don’t feel like I’m striving for anything, needing of anything – perhaps I have embodied the I AM THAT I AM.
It feels like if I was to suddenly receive a huge gift, a house, a lump sum of money, a car, anything, I would be grateful of course but it feels like it will be natural, that it would not be out of the ordinary, it would not surprise me at all as it is who I am, with that knowing, that knowledge, that ownership, good things come to me.
I was scrolling through social media in a spiritual group I found all the advertisements and posts of people offering their services and I felt it was all unnecessary that there was no need for all these modalities. I guess they are serving majority of people who believe that they need fixing or healing and feel they need some sort of gadget of modality to fix things within themselves, believe me, I was there over the years, today it all seems unnecessary and complicated. The world needs simplicity, we need simplicity, we all have the power inside us to change our lives, we are not puppets we do not need to give our power to someone else to put our belief and faith in another person on modality, we need to own and accept ourselves for the powerful entities that we are. How far have we strayed from ourselves, we need to come back to ourselves, really re-member with ourselves. I say it that way because remember seems to refer to thinking, remember when such and such happened, remember that person, it is thought based but re- member is coming back to, re-uniting, re-grouping, re-member with yourself coming back to, re-aligning with who you truly are, it is embodying this truth embracing it, no apologies, no justifications, no explanations just pure acceptance and knowing who you are, Divine consciousness, Christ consciousness, pure positive energy, pure spirit, light, with the power & ability to create and Co create anything. Everything you desire is all within you, it’s not out there, it’s in here, inside you, it already exists, there is no looking for it, no chasing, no striving, no searching, it ALL is within you. There is no trying to make things happen, trying to control the outcome as if what it is you are wanting is out of reach, something you have get to, that the outcome you desire is some distance away, it is not, it is done already, it already exists within you.
Embody what you wish to achieve, embody what it is you wish to become, own it now, claim it now, in the now, for it is done. Stepping to the knowing it is done and from there do what brings you joy, whatever action is required will be inspired action and from the place that you already are what you wish to be, your actions are from knowing not from striving or trying or searching, not from doubt or fear or chasing.
There is no chasing from this place when you know who you are, when you decide who you are, the experience you wish to have, healthy, wealthy, writer, butcher or whatever it is you are wanting. When you truly own this, you don’t need to chase because you are it already.
I’ve being doing this work for some time now, learning, adjusting, letting go etc, and more recently stepping into alignment with who I am. Everything, everywhere, limitless, pure positive energy and knowing I have the power and the ability to be whoever and whatever I choose in any given moment. As I make this conscious effort to decide on a daily basis and decide to no longer identify with my past, no longer identify with who I thought I was, no longer identifying with what others thought I should be, and start to identify to the love, the light, joy, happiness, health, abundance, all that I am and really owning this new identity, I felt things shifting me. I felt the energy shift and over the time since I started doing this some days I felt off balance where I felt I was in between timelines, one foot in each and trying to get my footing, others felt like an inner struggle of energy inside me my soul crying let me out, others days there was stillness and peace, some days I had memories of the past, felt nostalgic, some days I felt sad missing people and connection.
Leading up to Christmas felt sadness rise again and it was getting stronger, thoughts of certain people were coming to mind, I thought I was just missing them and feeling lonely. Christmas day had always been one of the days I felt sad the most. This Christmas day I distracted myself and the next day as I was journalling trying to figure out what the sadness was about, but nothing really fit, I remembered that I didn’t need to label it, just let it be and let it flow and flow it did. The tears were tears of relief, letting go of the old me, letting go of struggle, the stress, anxiety of all the pain and suffering I had been through. I was saying its over, its finally over, its over and allowed myself to cry as long as I needed to knowing I was letting it all go, no longer having to hold that old energy, that old self anymore, I put it down because I have been changing my identity, changing my beliefs about myself, it was the grief, the final step of letting the old self die. Since then, I have felt calm, at peace and grounded.
Although I use the word identity as it is used a lot these days, let go of the old identity of self, step into a new identity of who you are and who you want to be. I feel a little uncomfortable, a questioning if you will of the word identity. The word Identity is usually associated with the ego, and this is what we aim to let go of and return to who we are by nature, our true essence.
When I said I was choosing to identify with who I am, it is not ego based at all, there is no thoughts or feelings of me being better than anyone else, just I choose not to associate with my old self and old beliefs anymore. I choose to recognise who I am, to recognise the I AM THAT I AM within me and each and every one of us. The more I do this, the more illusions and now am questioning if we need modalities, we are not broken and don’t need to be fixed. I am in the mind that life can and was meant to be simple, know thyself, still the mind, move the body, eat healthy food, serve others, do what brings us joy, and share our blessings.
Robyn Lemsing
26th December 2025